Monday, January 21, 2013
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
BAND TIME! Escher, As Oceans, Wings Denied, Aether Realm, Tree Versus Sky
Remember kids, this is how you are supposed to judge live music!
http://lightningishot.blogspot.com/2011/05/band-time-professional-tree-section.html
To spice things up I'm going to describe the kind of barely-legal groupie each band deserves!
'Twas a beautiful evening at The Berkeley Cafe, which is a pretty decent small venue in Raleigh, NC. Five bands played this show January 10th, 2013. At this show every band was mixed pretty well, but would've been more articulate if the noise level in the room were 6db or so quieter.
Escher - Solid
As Oceans - Professional
Wings Denied - Solid
Aether Realm - Professional
Tree Versus Sky - ???
Escher plays some pretty interesting prog metal. Both guitarists and the bass player can groove and shred exceptionally well, and the front man provided good energy. There were was some moshing, the crowd was up front, everyone was pretty into their performance. Each guitarist and the bass player got to play their own tasteful solo during various songs. The drummer was great but made a few hiccups, as if he was playing at the edge of his ability at certain points. These guys deserve some ladies with tastefully multi-colored hair, excellent oral skills, and a willingness to try anal. But the ladies squeeze ONLY EVER SO SLIGHTLY TOO HARD when they cum.
As Oceans plays metalcore with hints of prog, and you can call them Djent if you believe in Djesus. I could tell they were playing to a click, and they had some electronica interludes playing along with them and a pre-recorded second guitar track instead of a second guitarist. Still, the performance from the actual musicians was exceptional, from the sweep-picked arpeggios of the guitar player to the intense riffing of the bass player to the lightning fast, high precision fills from their drummer. Their frontman had excellent presence and did a great job getting a few pits going and filling the room back up after everyone's smoke break between bands. These guys deserve the kind of girl that knows what you want and gives it you before you can ask, and it's better than you thought it would be every time. Sexually. The kind with a body you think is perfect unless you try really hard to find the couple of flaws you need a magnifying glass to find. And she turned whatever the age of consent is in your state yesterday.
Wings Denied plays prog metal, and you'll want to call them Djent even if you don't believe in it. They all had flu-like symptoms for their set, but they were still solid, the crowd was into them, their frontman jumped down from the stage and personally instigated a pit during one of their best breakdowns, and their lead guitar player whipped out a literally flawless tapping solo that definitely took the prize for highest notes per second of the night. Every band had a better than average drummer, but Wings Denied definitely had the weakest, and for a few very brief moments it was painfully obvious that the band wasn't playing to a click. They were the only band of the night with a primarily clean vocalist, but he was fairly strong and on key, making their performance as a whole quite enjoyable. They should expect girls that're kind of everyone's "type", dress sexy but not slutty, and don't like it too rough most of the time but out of nowhere deep-throat like crazy, force the orgasm and swallow.
Aether Realm plays folky melodic death metal. They brought their own lighting rig and fog machine, and the vocalist/bass player had a mic stand made of bones. They played to a click along with pre-recorded orchestra, their guitarists were both super-shredders, and their music was full of soaring guitarmony and hum-able melody. The drummer blasted forth some tit-fucking fast double kick work, and the bass player kept up some seriously technical guitar riffs effortlessly. The room was at its fullest and most energetic for Aether Realm. Their groupies ought to be perfect-looking scandinavian exchange students who are masters of their craft (which is whatever you're into (Sexually.)) and take charge in the bedroom, whatever that means!
Tree Versus Sky is a band I play bass and extended range guitars for. It's bad form to review oneself so I won't exactly be doing so. I can say with confidence that we are like nothing you've ever heard, whatever that means. If I had a gun to my head and had to come up with a genre it'd be "Improvised Sound". Imagine a trio of guitar, bass, and drum kit, each player capable of the highest level of technicality and expression on their instrument, collectively composing in the moment. We probably deserve to get raped by men. Go see us or any of these bands, definitely a completely solid show all around!
Bandcamps (so you can hear what you missed, you homely homebody you):
http://escher.bandcamp.com/
http://asoceans.bandcamp.com/
http://wingsdenied.bandcamp.com/
http://aether-realm.bandcamp.com/
http://treeversussky.bandcamp.com/
http://lightningishot.blogspot.com/2011/05/band-time-professional-tree-section.html
To spice things up I'm going to describe the kind of barely-legal groupie each band deserves!
'Twas a beautiful evening at The Berkeley Cafe, which is a pretty decent small venue in Raleigh, NC. Five bands played this show January 10th, 2013. At this show every band was mixed pretty well, but would've been more articulate if the noise level in the room were 6db or so quieter.
Escher - Solid
As Oceans - Professional
Wings Denied - Solid
Aether Realm - Professional
Tree Versus Sky - ???
Escher plays some pretty interesting prog metal. Both guitarists and the bass player can groove and shred exceptionally well, and the front man provided good energy. There were was some moshing, the crowd was up front, everyone was pretty into their performance. Each guitarist and the bass player got to play their own tasteful solo during various songs. The drummer was great but made a few hiccups, as if he was playing at the edge of his ability at certain points. These guys deserve some ladies with tastefully multi-colored hair, excellent oral skills, and a willingness to try anal. But the ladies squeeze ONLY EVER SO SLIGHTLY TOO HARD when they cum.
As Oceans plays metalcore with hints of prog, and you can call them Djent if you believe in Djesus. I could tell they were playing to a click, and they had some electronica interludes playing along with them and a pre-recorded second guitar track instead of a second guitarist. Still, the performance from the actual musicians was exceptional, from the sweep-picked arpeggios of the guitar player to the intense riffing of the bass player to the lightning fast, high precision fills from their drummer. Their frontman had excellent presence and did a great job getting a few pits going and filling the room back up after everyone's smoke break between bands. These guys deserve the kind of girl that knows what you want and gives it you before you can ask, and it's better than you thought it would be every time. Sexually. The kind with a body you think is perfect unless you try really hard to find the couple of flaws you need a magnifying glass to find. And she turned whatever the age of consent is in your state yesterday.
Wings Denied plays prog metal, and you'll want to call them Djent even if you don't believe in it. They all had flu-like symptoms for their set, but they were still solid, the crowd was into them, their frontman jumped down from the stage and personally instigated a pit during one of their best breakdowns, and their lead guitar player whipped out a literally flawless tapping solo that definitely took the prize for highest notes per second of the night. Every band had a better than average drummer, but Wings Denied definitely had the weakest, and for a few very brief moments it was painfully obvious that the band wasn't playing to a click. They were the only band of the night with a primarily clean vocalist, but he was fairly strong and on key, making their performance as a whole quite enjoyable. They should expect girls that're kind of everyone's "type", dress sexy but not slutty, and don't like it too rough most of the time but out of nowhere deep-throat like crazy, force the orgasm and swallow.
Aether Realm plays folky melodic death metal. They brought their own lighting rig and fog machine, and the vocalist/bass player had a mic stand made of bones. They played to a click along with pre-recorded orchestra, their guitarists were both super-shredders, and their music was full of soaring guitarmony and hum-able melody. The drummer blasted forth some tit-fucking fast double kick work, and the bass player kept up some seriously technical guitar riffs effortlessly. The room was at its fullest and most energetic for Aether Realm. Their groupies ought to be perfect-looking scandinavian exchange students who are masters of their craft (which is whatever you're into (Sexually.)) and take charge in the bedroom, whatever that means!
Tree Versus Sky is a band I play bass and extended range guitars for. It's bad form to review oneself so I won't exactly be doing so. I can say with confidence that we are like nothing you've ever heard, whatever that means. If I had a gun to my head and had to come up with a genre it'd be "Improvised Sound". Imagine a trio of guitar, bass, and drum kit, each player capable of the highest level of technicality and expression on their instrument, collectively composing in the moment. We probably deserve to get raped by men. Go see us or any of these bands, definitely a completely solid show all around!
Bandcamps (so you can hear what you missed, you homely homebody you):
http://escher.bandcamp.com/
http://asoceans.bandcamp.com/
http://wingsdenied.bandcamp.com/
http://aether-realm.bandcamp.com/
http://treeversussky.bandcamp.com/
Monday, July 11, 2011
Are You an Alien?
This post is actually TOO SCANDALOUS for Lightning is Hot, so it has been relocated because all the other writers started having perpetual heart attacks and strokes because of how scandalous it was. It has since been moved to my other blog http://supersexyblog69.blogspot.com/ and will remain there because that blog can handle the awesomeness that is this original post in its entirety.
Interviews From the Vault: Archie
Now as most of you may know, all of you know that the new Majycc album Hypergalactic Sex Highway drops next Sunday. We at Tuna Whaling Quarterly have spoken to who is, without a doubt, the backbone of the band; Archibald “Archie” Fernandez Henderson Waits. We, however, are not releasing that interview. Ever.
Instead, we are releasing an interview from the year 1942 when he was fighting on the frontlines of the second World War II. During this period, he not only wrote, produced, and released seventeen Majycc albums entirely on his own – while still selflessly giving credit to the other, lazier band members – he also retaught all of the other members how to play their respective instruments because they had all recently done so much acid that they had forgotten literally everything. Suffice it to say, he saved their careers and their lives.
Now, without further ado, we give unto you, our loyal viewers, the interview, conducted by Silus McAllegheny, from that fateful day upon which Archie was fatally shot hours before this interview.
Silus: So, Archie, how are you doing?
Archie: Aside from the bullet wound in my neck, never better. Every day is a new day for dying. It's just too bad when you actually get around to that dying part.
Silus: Yeah, that looks pretty bad. Shouldn't you be getting some sort of medical attention?
Archie: I'm a bit too busy right now to patch this bad boy up. The medic said it was a miracle that I was able to stand anyway, so what's pushing my luck a bit more? All right, let's get to the nitty gritty 'cause I got six more interviews to go to and nine more albums to finish up before the sun sets.
Silus: All right, let's go ahead and bang this out then.
Archie: Yeah, let's take care of business.
Silus: Okay, let's get started.
Archie: Indeed, let's drop some knowledge atom bombs on the Hiroshima that is our minds.
Silus: Yeah, let's smash some knowledge night sticks and riot shields into the faces of the oppressed black people vying for equal rights that is our minds.
Archie: Okay, dude, lay it on me. What have you got for the big, bad Archie?
Silus: All right. First off, how's the love life?
Archie: Well, since the human body can maintain an erection for hours after death, I'm hoping it'll be pretty kicking by the time I make it to the bar later tonight. As for specificity, the world is my lovely lady, and my lovely lady is my world.
Silus: I feel that, dog.
Archie: Word.
Silus: Semantics and horseshoe mongering aside, how's the band looking?
Archie: I've lately been dealing with the fact that every other member of Majycc is completing his or her own solo work, so I am currently the only member of the band. So it's business as usual.
Silus: It's sounds like you love your work.
Archie: I love it more than fighting the good fight itself.
Silus: That's saying something. I love nothing more than fighting the good fight.
Archie: These days, I'm more of a lover, but don't tell anyone. I have to keep my tough-guy exterior, or the boys around here will lose morale, and we'll lose all of the ground we've gained. I can't let that happen, and I think that's what's keeping me going, since I'm technically dead.
Silus: You definitely are a Jack of all trades. Anything else you've been up to besides writing music, loving women, and singlehandedly winning this war?
Archie: No.
Silus: Well, that makes sense.
Archie: Are we done yet?
Silus: I guess so.
Friday, June 24, 2011
Everything
is going to be just fine. Listen! No, don't do that. NO. Stop it. Okay, are you listening? You're not listening, I can tell. There will be consequences. Good. Sit down. NO. Not that chair. Sit on the BLUE one. I'm going to slap you. If you cry out, there will be another consequence. Good. Tears are acceptable.
Friday, June 17, 2011
Interviews from the Vault
This is an excerpt from an exclusive interview with Dave Hammlin, a.k.a “Big Dave”, from the band Majycc, conducted by People’s Choice Rock Icons magazine. The interviewer is Steve Wetcomb. Circa 1990
“Big Dave”: Thanks. Me too.
Steve: Now Dave, you are one of the founders of Majycc. What inspired you to form this band?
“Big Dave”: Well Steve, inspiration can come from many places. Sometimes it just falls out of the sky and hits you. I can’t tell you how, or when, or even why Majycc formed. It just happened. It was written in the stars.
Steve: I see. Now, what would you say your early influences were as a band?
“Big Dave”: well you know…Sorcery. Plants. Nature. The Universe. All kinds of Voodoo magic really. We came together and did some crazy stuff. Sometimes we would shoot of rockets and recite spells before going on stage.
Steve: What about musical influences?
“Big Dave”: One time we managed to bring back our old bassist from the dead.
Steve: I’m sorry?
“Big Dave”: He was literally dead.
Steve: Ok.
You’re the main songwriter for the band. Is this right?
“Big Dave”: Yes
Steve: What is the songwriting process like for you?
“Big Dave”: It’s filled with ups and downs. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve started writing a song, and then stopped midway through and trashed the whole thing. Sometimes I even break my piano.
Steve: Do most of your songs start out as ideas on the piano?
“Big Dave”: I don’t play piano.
Steve: What about the Majycc song “Caretaker for the Doomsday Crypt.” Where did that one come from?
“Big Dave”: That one’s about love, Steve.
Steve: I see. Now, Majycc has been around for 20 plus years, and you guys have put out over 30 albums. That must take a lot of time and dedication to your music.
“Big Dave”: Yes it does, Steve. It’s taken a toll on me personally, having been on the road for so long. Most people don’t understand the lifestyle.
Steve: Your new album “American Haymaker” hits the stores in two weeks. What would you say is your favorite part of the album?
“Big Dave”: The Drum solos. Most definitely. They’re really spicy. Our drummer is a God.
Steve: Do you enjoy being in the studio?
“Big Dave”: I do for the most part. But I’m not in there just for fun. It’s strictly business. I’m in the studio more than anyone else in the band, I can tell you that for sure. I slept in there for two weeks once.
Steve: That long huh? (Laughs)
“Big Dave”: Yeah (Laughs) Most of my time there is spent finding a guitar tone. I’m also the drummer for the band.
Steve: Wow. I didn’t know that. That must be very difficult on stage no doubt. How do you manage that?
“Big Dave”: Majycc.
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
TIME2MOSH: Disfiguring The Goddess
It has been a while since I've given you a pitt-riffment update.
I had originally planned on making the next post an epic post on Devourment, Pyrexia, Immolation, and Internal Bleeding, but I have decided to bypass all of those (important) bands and write a post on this brand newish band/thing.
I had originally planned on making the next post an epic post on Devourment, Pyrexia, Immolation, and Internal Bleeding, but I have decided to bypass all of those (important) bands and write a post on this brand newish band/thing.
If you have ever seen one of the Big Chocolate vocal covers on youtube (I think his real name is Cam or something), than you have a headstart on this post. That guy has a solo project called Disfiguring The Goddess, and they absolutely slam.
The music is some kind of deathcore/slam metal hybrid, and it has some of the most absolutely heavy mosh sections you will ever hear. I'll post a couple of videos here so you'll know what I'm talking about.
VOID LEACHER
BREACHING THE CLONE
So, it's awesome stuff. All of the songs on the album are basically a series of insane mosh riffs. My favorite is the one after the sustained chord in Void Leacher.
And yes, every song on the album is this creative and this destructive.
Sorry, by the way, if you expected a really funny post or something. I'll get back to hilarious stabs at death metal next time, I just really wanted to share this beautiful music with everybody.
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